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December Love Memo - Why it is important to 'out' fit and do things differently.


A recent client said to me that the reason she enjoyed our time together was that I was such a free spirit and she needed a woman (without being all ‘badass’) to role-model what being empowered looked like?


Truth be told it hasn’t been easy being committed to my free spirit. There have been times when I have chosen to ‘fit in’ only to find myself depleted and frustrated, and feeling more isolated and lonely. So I decided long ago that ‘fitting in’ was not on my path but rather the liberation from the voices that told me I ‘should’ fit in was.

I think it helped having a childhood in Nigeria, where simple and honest connections with people were celebrated. Last week I clocked eyes with an 84 year old cowboy during a heatwave, next minute he was sharing his grandfather’s secret to longevity. (Drinking lots of diluted cold tea in the summer and a nip of ginger wine before bed in the winter). Those connections always fill my heart. They remind me of my father whose dearest friend in Edinburgh was Mr Malik. Mr Malik owned the Newspaper shop my father frequented every day with his dog Bumble. When my father was in hospital the first instructions I received were to visit Mr Malik to inform him of my father’s illness.


As we head into 2020, I can see that there is no enduring heart led leadership coming out of the country I was born in or choose to live in. I am taking this as a sign that we are being invited to open our hearts and minds to different ways of being in this World. To define our success by how much time we have to ourselves, our loved ones as well as our service to humanity. It actually feels so 1980's to be focusing on the big and gaudy anymore.

So as we wrap up 2019 I shall pose some questions to you.


What kind a World do you want to live in? Where are you fitting into a World that you outgrew years ago? How can you find ways to nurture the soil of your soul?

Every single one of us has the power to create change. We can point fingers and complain but the truth is we need to come up with ideas about what we want to see and experience instead.

For me next year I will be focusing on creating. Creating things that I wished were around when I was growing up, when I was studying, having sex for the first time, struggling with friendships and arsehole boyfriends, when I was vomiting non stop with morning sickness, in labour, dealing with 'institutions' without losing your integrity etc...

What will you be focusing on next year? What niggle have you been ignoring which is nudging you forward?


Remember fear will always be part of any new thing, it is like an over anxious parent terrified you will make a choice that causes you pain, (and by default them pain). Pain and heart-break are unavoidable you either chose to live your life or let your life live you.


Wishing you all a very Happy Holiday season.


Always love


Jen x


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I will be drawing my free intuitive/oracle card reading on Christmas Day. Keep a look out in case it is you.



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© 2019 by Jennifer Winfield